Maj.

My therapist has suggested that I keep a journal to document my thoughts, so here I am writing down everything that comes to mind. I do not have a name for you yet, but I guess Maj sounds fine. Yes, Maj!!

I always wondered how my life would be without the pressure of earning a living. To be able to simply relax, meditate, and live life peacefully. Unfortunately, that is not the reality. I work a 9-5 corporate job as a computer engineer, a career path that never truly resonated with me. I spent four years in college pursuing a degree in engineering, but it never fully made sense to me.

My father owns a deli down the street and my mother teaches at NYU. It may seem strange, but my mother is also quite nerdy like me. On the other hand, my father seems to have lived life to the fullest. He is fearless, energetic, passionate, kind, generous, and always the life of the party. I often wish I could be more like him, even if just for a day. He too was an accountant, but he realized that it wasn't his true calling and decided to pursue something that truly excited his soul.

I follow a strict and routine-oriented lifestyle. I wake up at 5am, exercise at the gym, have breakfast, and then leave for work at 8am. I work long hours for relatively low pay, and return home by 6pm. I cook dinner and go to bed by 9:30pm. This has been my daily routine since I decided to pursue a career in engineering. University was less demanding, but I didn't make many memories like my peers did. It's strange how society expects us to be successful and enjoy life at the same time. I often wonder how wealthy individuals manage to maintain balance in their lives. I contemplate many things in life, such as the necessity of a degree to succeed in the professional world, the different perspectives on success and failure, the cruel and inhumane nature of some people, and the jealousy directed towards those who are successful. I also ponder about the state of the world, and when it will become a peaceful place.

My mind is a fertile land for craziness. Some people may think it's crazy, but I believe I am gifted, and that is why they are jealous and try to bring me down.

I hope to document my life one day.

My room is in a mess, but that is what one would expect from a "coder's" room, isn't it? On my way home today, I saw a girl with half purple, half blue hair and it was mind-boggling. Maybe I'll dye my hair white or shave my head or color my teeth, I'm not sure.

I don't know a lot of things in life, and my answer to most questions is "I don't know," but the truth is, I do know what to say, I just don't know how to say it. Sometimes it's a way to get out of a conversation.

You know Maj, I want a dog, but my mother won't let me. She's paranoid that I won't ever get married if I get a dog, because that way I would no longer need a companion. She's right in a way, I need to figure my life out.

It's past my bedtime, but I'll keep you updated about life on earth. It's a weird place, but I'm glad you're not here to experience it firsthand.