Unfulfilled Love

Issac,

We may not be "dating" right now, but trust me there hasn't gone one day without your thought, without missing you, without thinking about you. You know how they say " We value things once we've lost them," I haven't lost you completely or ever will, but I sure have lost you in someway. It sucks how we are expected to be a certain way, I hate a lot of things about how we had to end our love. I know you haven't gotten over it yet, so haven't I.

The process of love is complex as fuck!

I wish we could start over, but this time as adults, as responsible adults who have their shit planned and are on the same page about life.

As much as I want to tell you how much I still love you everyday, I force myself to shut the fuck up, because, if anything, I end up fucking things up.

I am deeply sorry for the pain and hurt I've caused you. I very well know you will never stop loving me and I'll always pray that you are able to go beyond this attachment and be with the one you deserve.

Thank you being the genuine human being you are. Thank you for the surprises that I did not respect and appreciate back then; I kid you not, I would kill for you to surprise me at present! Thank you for selflessly loving me when I didn't know how to love myself. Thank you for pushing me ahead when the world was after me. Just immense gratitude.

Hope you forgive me someday,

Love always,

Julian!